small town grammar

Could Be!!!!

2008-02-19T13:58:00.000-08:00

Ugh. If one exclamation point is good, then four must be even better.

*shudder*

Auction Sale

2008-02-19T13:46:00.000-08:00

Humourous things about this ad:

1. "Miscellaneous articles" - as if a pony harness and bird cage weren't miscellaneous enough for you, I guess.

2. Rack. You can buy a rack. Doesn't say what kind of rack. Use your imagination, I guess. Don't yell at the auctioneer when you show up and it just wasn't what you were bargaining for.

3. Articles to numerous to mention.

4. Partial list! Get your PARTIAL LIST here!

and finally

5. Auctioneer John Johnson.

SURPRISE!

2008-02-19T13:40:00.001-08:00

There is nothing that stands out as terrible in this ad.
I'm just wondering how it can be a SURPRISE RETIREMENT PARTY advertised in a newspaper that was published eight days before the supposed "surprise retirement party".

Therefore I am wondering, did our poor friend here lose her job, thereby unwillingly participating in a "SURPRISE RETIREMENT"? Or are they just hoping that she won't see the ad?

I have blocked out her eyes and name. I do not want to contribute to the demise of her surprise.

Delightful!

2008-02-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

1. "Gratuitous" quotation marks? Check.
2. Apostrophe to make something plural? Check.
3. Sentence fragments? Check.

Mmm, tastes like English, but with half the calories!

Ghettttttooooo

2008-02-19T13:26:00.001-08:00

This is the feature ad of the week in the Elgin County Market.

I have not edited the ad to make it look more ghetto. This is it in its original splendor.

First, I must commend them on the wonderful placement of that swanky pink oval that says "NOT OPEN MONDAY!". Such an inviting slogan, almost as cool as "OPEN THIS TUESDAY".

SCRATCH 'N DENT, but LIKE NEW! Duh. Of course they're like new. If new stuff comes, you know, scratched. And dented.

Also, the appliances are "not exactly as illustrated". I wonder what they really are, then? Mini-fridges? Or just like these ones, but scratched and/or dented?

"STAINLESS STEEL WHITE & BLACK" - o hai thurr! commas is are ur friend, roflmao!

So hurry down to Mudge's Like NEW sale. Just remember it is NOT OPEN MONDAY.

Heck out their specials!

Garden's

2008-02-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

Thier

2008-02-14T07:59:00.001-08:00

Okay, so it's just a typo. But really, there isn't anything worth posting this week.

For the 'best'

2008-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

Pretty slim pickings in the Chronicle this week. Here's a sub-par ad.

Februari

2008-02-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

The photo sucks because I took it in the dark, of course, in my long johns and very long coat. Anyway, it is for a meeting about Moore Water Gardens (the cut off text at the bottom reads "you can guess what they will be talking about"), and takes place on "Februari 18".

plz give me tattoo supplys

2008-02-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Would you like to use some of their "supplys" to get something permanently drawn on your skin?

He's Euroupe bound...

2008-02-07T18:55:00.000-08:00

Srsly? In the HEADLINE? Where it's super big and stuff? C'mon, Chronicle... you spelled it fine on the line just underneath it!

Also check out the lack of period at the end of the second line in the second column. Stellar.

Also, congrats, Zach! That's rad.

Say what?

2008-02-07T18:53:00.001-08:00

Sign posted at Dutton Department Store, January 2008.

honey Honey

2008-02-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

Random capitalization, double punctuation, but it's okay because it will Make you feel BETTER

Technicality?

2008-02-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

Combo's? Technically, I suppose, it is short for "combinations", so perhaps. But I get the vibe they are using the poor apostrophe to make the lonely combo plural.

Ffountain drinks. They're Welsh.

2008-02-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

Student's lern the gud grammar

2008-02-07T18:40:00.001-08:00

Welcome!

2008-02-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm Jenn. And I'm a cynical little bitch, it's true.
Anyway, a little about me: I'm 21, almost 22 (but I refuse to believe this). I live in my parents' basement, but I have tried to move out three times and failed miserably. I'm currently seeking full time employment, but right now I'm just a casual typist. I dropped out of business school. I did, however, finish career college with a degree in ass wiping. I am in a lot of debt. Creditors love to hate me. Men love to hate me. But, I digress.

I don't always use perfect grammar or spelling. Frankly, if I win the lottery, the very first thing I will do is pay off my existing debts, and apply to university to take some English courses. But again, I am rambling.

This blog is going to be a compilation of really stupid mistakes I find in print and on signs. It's called proof reading, folks. It isn't very difficult.

Have a good one!