Could Be!!!!

Ugh. If one exclamation point is good, then four must be even better.

*shudder*

Auction Sale

Humourous things about this ad:

1. "Miscellaneous articles" - as if a pony harness and bird cage weren't miscellaneous enough for you, I guess.

2. Rack. You can buy a rack. Doesn't say what kind of rack. Use your imagination, I guess. Don't yell at the auctioneer when you show up and it just wasn't what you were bargaining for.

3. Articles to numerous to mention.

4. Partial list! Get your PARTIAL LIST here!

and finally

5. Auctioneer John Johnson.

SURPRISE!

There is nothing that stands out as terrible in this ad.
I'm just wondering how it can be a SURPRISE RETIREMENT PARTY advertised in a newspaper that was published eight days before the supposed "surprise retirement party".

Therefore I am wondering, did our poor friend here lose her job, thereby unwillingly participating in a "SURPRISE RETIREMENT"? Or are they just hoping that she won't see the ad?

I have blocked out her eyes and name. I do not want to contribute to the demise of her surprise.

Delightful!

1. "Gratuitous" quotation marks? Check.
2. Apostrophe to make something plural? Check.
3. Sentence fragments? Check.

Mmm, tastes like English, but with half the calories!

Ghettttttooooo

This is the feature ad of the week in the Elgin County Market.

I have not edited the ad to make it look more ghetto. This is it in its original splendor.

First, I must commend them on the wonderful placement of that swanky pink oval that says "NOT OPEN MONDAY!". Such an inviting slogan, almost as cool as "OPEN THIS TUESDAY".

SCRATCH 'N DENT, but LIKE NEW! Duh. Of course they're like new. If new stuff comes, you know, scratched. And dented.

Also, the appliances are "not exactly as illustrated". I wonder what they really are, then? Mini-fridges? Or just like these ones, but scratched and/or dented?

"STAINLESS STEEL WHITE & BLACK" - o hai thurr! commas is are ur friend, roflmao!

So hurry down to Mudge's Like NEW sale. Just remember it is NOT OPEN MONDAY.

Heck out their specials!

Garden's

Thier

Okay, so it's just a typo. But really, there isn't anything worth posting this week.

For the 'best'

Pretty slim pickings in the Chronicle this week. Here's a sub-par ad.

Februari

The photo sucks because I took it in the dark, of course, in my long johns and very long coat. Anyway, it is for a meeting about Moore Water Gardens (the cut off text at the bottom reads "you can guess what they will be talking about"), and takes place on "Februari 18".

plz give me tattoo supplys

Would you like to use some of their "supplys" to get something permanently drawn on your skin?